It is my belief that God has a plan for everyone, even those who never answer his call. He can use those unbelievers to push us in the right direction. His
plan is for our good, although sometimes we can't see the good when bad
things happen. He lets us pick and choose our paths, but ultimately He
is in control. I can see this in my own life because somehow after a
life of every kind of depravity (alcohol, drugs, etc.), I find myself
here on God's doorstep. I had indulged my every whim (or most of them)
in the most destructive manner and yet through God's infinite grace I
have been spared. I had picked a destiny of my own or so I thought, but
in truth God has placed me in this marriage and this situation for a
reason. Maybe it's to set an example to those in my family, my husband,
and kids. Or maybe it's that the Lord had chosen me and knew I'd come to
Him by no other means. Although it's not what I would call the perfect
life (or so it sometimes seems), I will remain in it and let the Lord
continue to guide me, until he calls me home.
So,
ultimately, God lets us choose our own destinies by choosing our paths
in life, either the straight and narrow or the wide. In Matthew 7:13-14,
Jesus puts it this way, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the
gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter
through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to
life, and only a few find it." And in Matthew 7:21, "Not everyone who
says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he
who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." But in the end, He
makes the final decision. He created us and is in control, no matter
what we think or whether we even believe in the God of Heaven and the
Universe. His will is done and He is there whenever we need him or even
if we don't think we do. All we have to do is seek him and ask. Matthew
7:7-8 says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks
receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be
opened." We should not only seek him when things are bad, but when
things are going well, we need to thank him as well!
So
if you are feeling like your relationships have gone a bit a rye, that
you are not on the right page, remember what the bible says in Ephesians
5:21-33 "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives,
be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is
himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives
also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your
wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he
might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the
word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without
spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without
blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own
flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,
because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man shall leave
his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall
become one." This is a great mystery, and I take it to mean Christ and
the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and
let the wife see that she respects her husband."
The two key
words in this passage, being love and respect, for if a man does not
learn to show love to a woman, how will the woman learn to show respect
to the man? This can only happen when one or the other, steps out in
faith and shows love and respect, even when they don't think it is
deserved by the other. It is a sign of true maturity, when we put others
ahead of ourselves, letting our pride take a backseat to the needs of
others. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states "Love is patient and kind; love is
not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not
insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not
rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things,
hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for
prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for
knowledge, it will pass away."
So
it actually becomes a matter of unconditional love and unconditional
respect. The man to unconditionally love the woman (wife, girlfriend)
and the woman to unconditionally respect the man (husband, boyfriend).
Unconditional means it is not based on performance or merit, either
past, present or future. It is given even when it is not deserved. The
circumstances of one's relationships can be changed by either the man
taking the first step and showing unconditional love to the woman or by
the woman being the first to show unconditional respect to the man. Men
and women were created equal in the eyes of God, but he created them
different, male and female, not the same. Each with different needs, the
woman with the need to be loved and the man with the need to be
respected. When the man feels respected he shows love, when the woman
feels loved she shows respect. It is a natural response to the feeling
of being unloved to show disrespect. By the same token, when one doesn't
feel respected, the natural response is to withhold love. But his love
motivates her respect and her respect motivates his love and a new cycle
can be started.
God's love is unconditional, even if we never love Him back, His love will still be there.
He doesn't put a price on it either, there are no conditions, no
requirements, it's free for the taking, all we have to do is seek Him and love Him back! Jesus came to this earth to show
God's great love for us and to show us how to love.
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still
sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 That He gave his all even unto
death! This should be the bases for our relationships, in order for them
to work, either one or both parties have to be willing to put aside
their own selfish needs for the good of the other.
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